Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Wear Sunscreen by Mary Schmich


Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Project Quote

So, over the next few months of the end of 2012, I am going through ALL of my old files from the last 30+ years and starting to upload the quotes from the past.

They are on scraps of paper, ditto sheets, print outs and on plaques.nMany I've been able to find on the Internet and am using the copy/paste function to place them in this blog. Others are handmade objects that will be documented through pictures and maybe saved and maybe tossed.

Either way, they'll end up here and perhaps next year I'll wrap this all up in a blog book.

For now, it will continue to be my place for keeping all my favorite quotes, notes, and inspirational links.

My house is looking cleaner already!
r


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

9 months - for a baby - no matter how organized

So, I discovered this great quote from Seth Godin today and  I find it a bit funny.


"Nine women can't have a baby in one month, no matter how closely they coordinate their work."

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Funny - Performance Evaluation Quotes

Subject: Performance evaluation quotes

These quotes were reportedly taken from actual federal employee performance evaluations:

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this employee to breed

3. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

4. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.

5. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

6. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

7. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

8. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.

9. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to acheive them.

10. Got a full 6- pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

11. A gross ignoramus ? 144 times worse than an ordianary ignoramus.

12. He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.

13. I would like to go hunting with him sometime.

14. He's been working with glue too much.

15. He would argue with a signpost.

16. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.

17. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.

18. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.

19. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

20. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

21. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

22. Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

23. Has two brains: One is lost and the other is out looking for it.

24. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

25. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

26. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

27. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

28. One neuron short of a synapse.

29. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.

30. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

31. The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.
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