You Might Be a Mormon If...

So, here's something that is supposedly from Jeff Foxworthy, but he couldn't possibly know this without a good Mormon friend prompting him.

I believe that most of these are right on the mark from what I've seen:


Jeff Foxworthy on Mormons

This is to all of you that may be a Mormon, that may know a Mormon, that may live in Utah, that may have lived in Utah or have heard about Mormons.

If all your dishes have your name written on them with masking tape...You might be a Mormon.

If you postdate your checks while shopping on Sunday....You might be a Mormon.

If you believe heck is the place for people who do not believe in gosh...You might be a Mormon.

If your mom was pregnant at your sister's wedding reception....You might be a Mormon

If you pray that your food might "nourish and strengthen your body" before eating doughnuts....You might be a Mormon

If you think Jell-O is one of the basic food groups......You might be a Mormon

If at least one of your salad bowls is at a neighbor's house.......You might be a Mormon.

If you've ever written a "Dear-John" to more than two missionaries on the same day....You might be a Mormon

If you were frustrated when your son "only" got accepted to Harvard....You might be a Mormon.

If you have one kid in diapers and one on a mission....You might be a Mormon

If you have never arrived at a meeting on time....You might be a Mormon.

If you have more wheat stored in your basement than most third world countries....You might be a Mormon.

If you've already got your order in for volume 50 of "The Work and The Glory"...You might be a Mormon.

If you think it is all right to watch football on Sundays as long as a direct descendant of Brigham Young is playing...You might be a Mormon.

If you have to guess more than five times the name of the child you're disciplining...You might be Mormon.

If you automatically assume that BYOB means, Bring Your Own Burgers...You might be Mormon.

If you go to a party and someone spikes the punch with Pepsi...You might be a Mormon.

If you arrive to an activity an hour late and are the first person there...You might be a Mormon.